pourquoi

why do my subjects this sem seem soooooooooo hard to comprehend??? I thought authorship was the hardest??? Seems like MCP is even worse. :( GE, got nth to say. MT- ditto. GC - IDK :(


Ish, I shd be grad end of this sem d.  Cannot afford to get MEH grades :(

End of week 1

It's only the end of week 1 but it kinda feels that I've been HALFWAY thru' the semester. Why on EARTH AM I so paranoid abt presentation in WEEK 8???? Chill-lah! No marks also... Well, at least, at least IT ain't XXXXXX whose marking you or observing you. He can scrutinize you as much as possible just so HE is happy. I know you hate all of us. That's what you told ME last year and YESTERDAY itself when we suddenly got back in touch by some miracle because I thought he a) disappeared to somewhere unreachable  b) was ignoring me because he hates me (well, this is to some extent TRUE... I guess?) (How can you ever hate all of us? Is it because we're BRATS? or to some extent still behave like brats?)


Okay, never mind. 


I know it ain't gonna be a straightforward presentation because what matters is you get your content right. Luckily for me, I chose quite an easy-to-understand reading abt IDEOLOGY. Yet, I think to come up with a presentation on that ONE reading which is btw 25 pages (filled with loads of examples) is in some way tedious and ridiculous. And IF I am wrong, everyone's gonna XXX me because I know my friends don't even bother to read their readers. I don't blame you if you do that once in a while but pls do not depend on me to tell you everythg like  I am the Human Wikipedia or sth. Then, I can even shoot you back with questions, you know?



AHHHHH!!!! You know I hate presentations. I hope, I hope this will be the only one for this unit.


GC - One group presentation. Oklah, since it's all coursework anyway. Thought I would've four exams this sem but yay!!! (I refuse to have four exams this sem esp because last sem was enough to kill me ... - Refer to How I got sick.....)


GG- Global Economy sounds kinda alien to me but after reading some of the stuff and doing the activity yday, I feel slightly better. But I don't wanna say too much because I don't wanna be EMO the way I was for Authorship.


MT - Possibly the only subject this sem where we get to watch MOVIES and TV series. But I don't wanna be too excited coz I might just totally flunk my assignment and then.... CRY.


MCP- The heaviest unit this sem... no thanks to its theories. Hopefully, I'll get thru' this the way I did with Authorship

Yesterday

was probably the last time i'm gonna ever pay $$ as an undergrad. Can't believe HOW FAST time flies. I thought it was yesterday that mr. lecturer played a segment from A CHORUS LINE. 




























































Fast forward, I was all set for the final sem yday.


Arrived 45 mins earlier than lecture time just so I could settle my fees yang sangatlah terlampau tinggi.


But guess what? My number (thanks to the oh-so-efficient numbering system)  came at 12pm sharp WHEN I WAS ABT to GIVE UP and WALK OFF to class.


Y'know what? It wasn't even my number actually. Somebody gave it to me. Well, two people gave their numbers to me. One gave because she said she was gonna do sth else. Another guy who SPOKE IN MANDARIN CHINESE gave me another number CLOSER to the ONE I got and also closer to the other number I got from the other girl. He went "Take this one, faster".  I wanted to thank him so much but I was speechless, unfortunately. 


And honestly, I'm happy that I listened to that guy... because I finally got to pay my fees.


I don't need to rant here abt how painful it was to stand for 40 mins clinging on to the transparent shelf for support (which was filled with brochures for Masters programmes).


Got to sit for 5 mins when someone else's turn was up.


Even then, when my number came, the lady at the finance counter took some time to key in details and process my payment and print out the receipt.


talk abt technologies and efficiency. Sometimes I wonder whether they are making us smarter or dumber.


the 45-minute wait just to pay my fees better be worth it.

Rumah

Heh


Rumah pulak....

Why on EARTH am I addicted to House M.D.?

I regret NOT watching when it was on TV for real.

It used to be on Astro AXN (and If I'm not mistaken our free-to-air TV), I think but I couldn't be bothered but NOW that I'm watching it on my LAPTOP, it's like HELLO, I can't stop watching?????  Like, I have to watch at least 6 episodes per day just to be satisfied.

Okay, maybe that's because I'm only up to SEASON 2. Yeah, so SLOW. Whatever, since I've never really bothered to watch it on TV.

I think the last time I watched it on TV, it was a season 6 or 7 episode.

And I think I fell in love with Dr. Chase. And Cameron... Oh NO! Not the right time to fall in LOVE with them esp when you're starting your sem soon.

I love this...

I freaking <3 MUN YEE's blog. Your expression. So eloquent. I don't think anyone can ever beat her in terms of writing a DECENT post. Something that is WORTH reading and not some kind of gibberish...

Esp her LATEST post:

http://iaremunyee.blogspot.com/2012/07/parenting-101.html

I am oh-so existentialist

If there's one thing I (still) remember from Authorship (nomatterhowtraumatisingthatsubjectis) is that FROM the day we are born, we are DEAD because as each day passes, WE are CLOSER to DEATH.

Don't you think so??? 

the non-social sciences/arts students must think we're crazy.

Yeah, because that's what we are trained to do anyway. Social scientists have nothing better to do other than come up with new theories/challenging existing theories.

Okay, I think I better stop thinking abt authorship. Thought I told myself not to.

Maybe it's true... somehow Repressing memories do not HELP because UNCONSCIOUSLY it will RESURFACE thru' WRITING. 

OH, MAN. STOP ALREADY.

In case I have NO time to type this

The (little) things I will miss about UNIVERSITY.


No matter HOW MUCH I hate UNIVERSITY.


1. MTMC
Possibly the most vibrant and active club I've ever come across. Just when you thought the campus over here has nothing much to offer, right??? Sad to say, I was in it only for ONE sem. ONE sem but only go for FOUR meetings. Haha, at least better than nothing-lah. >.< Kind of wasted that I paid so much for membership. The horrible WORKLOAD university has + the kinds of Questions they can come up with... Oh God. Even if I have ONE MORE SEM to go before I bid goodbye officially, doesn't mean I will have time... because for some reason, UNI decided to be NICE to me by giving me a three-day week this coming sem aka the final one (UNLESS I randomly decide to go on to Hons or Masters)


2. Its crazy BUT dynamic bunch of LECTURERS (possibly only from my FACULTY) :P


In no particular order:-
a) Sharon for her SUPER-DUPER extensive comments that makes you think you've failed the assignment. Her suffocating classes, I'd still remember BUT truth is, I learnt SO MANY things from it.


b) Callum for being extremely NICE to his students and at one point calling me KIASU just because I wanted an explanation as to why I got 18/25 and not MORE for one of my assignments. I swear he's a JOKER at times. 


c) Andrew. HIM. Well, let's just say that he's the kind of lec WHO no matter HOW much you DESPISE him, you would still come back and thank HIM for everything that he's ever taught you. Honestly, I took POSTCOLONIAL LITERATURE coz I got nth else to take, going in with ZERO KNOWLEDGE. At one point, I thought I was gonna FLUNK this paper when I was LOST the first FOUR WEEKS. But then, later, I bugged him A LOT, really and I'm so glad I got something out of it.


As for Authorship, what can I say? FUN YET TRAUMATISING. As much as I am happy I did not flunk, I just wish I could've CRAPPED a lot lesser so I could've scored HIGHER. 


Fluent in sarcasm, really. ALL your eccentric EMAILS, your sarcastic remarks in all our essays and possibly EXAMS, your HATRED towards JB and Twilight (LOL), and esp your awkward way of calling me by name particularly the LONGER (I notice) you tend to exaggerate my "Leen" to sthg like "Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen". Even my friends don't do that... not to that extent, at least. LOL. (Sometimes I wish my parents gave me a more complicated Chinese name so you'd have trouble calling me).


Well, not only ONE lec remembers me; I think all my lecs do. MAN, It means they're kinda like watchdogs in UNI and they possibly expect very high marks from you. Sigh. WHY ME? 
Can I just be LAZY like some of my friends?????????


d) Julian is SOOOOOOO nice. Period.


3. The friendships built along the way


Ah, so cliche I know. But, nobody can deny that the friends you make in uni are the ones that change your life... in my case (+) Note to self: Try to talk to MORE people, maybe the exchange kids. So far, met one Aust, Z and one South African, D. Thank you so much for all your HELP with Authorship.


***


I really DON'T KNOW if this coming sem will be a NICE one.


But, Global Economy, Global Cities, MCP and Media Texts, I am coming.

Well, hello MR. Existentialist & Lover

Just when I thought I could FORGET Authorship.


Authorship has COME back to HAUNT me.




I just wonder what my lec's reaction would be IF he ever sees this.




Friend of mine went to France and must have stumbled upon THEIR grave.

Jamie McDell - Rewind

Okay, I'm moving on. Time to say GOODBYE to Authorship. Thank you for a torturing 12-week sem with one subject that makes you wanna pull your hair out.


Excuse the NZ accent that sometimes makes you go HUH??? Got this from my cousin, btw.
It's NICE in an awkward way, I would say?
Did not LIKE it the first time though
But once you get used to the melody, it's a totally different story.

Three

Results have been released. And my worse fears were confirmed. 3 more marks! Well, kinda expected it but never knew that I was this close to getting a D. After all my hard work + bugging+ discussion, body decided it was too much; I fell sick :(

I knew I crapped somewhat but never knew it cost me three marks............so close yet so far.

Am I happy? I don't know if happy is the word to use? Am I disappointed??? I refuse to admit.

I am however RELIEVED that I can throw away ALL my notes....

Anyhow, thank you for torturing us...A.. and thanks for the very enriching experience, buddies :) Couldn't have done it without you people.

At the very least, I'm not one of those victims to fall into the RE-TAKE trap.

How I got sick, really - A rant of my own stupidity

I can't exactly tell whether I'm better or getting worse! It's like there's something SOMETHING in my throat that I want so badly to die because it's killing me.

It all started on the day of my Authorship paper... Talk about KILLING oneself, I think I almost did.

Because here's what happened:

5 mins before the BLASTED morning exam, MR LECTURER stormed over to SSD to ask the staff something and I happened to see him there. OhMYGODDDDDDDDDDD! What timing!

So what else? "Jo LeeeeeEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN!!!!"  In the most awkward but usual way.

Asked me some stuff and then...

"I won't be taking anymore questions, you know" (as usual, his style)

He was about to walk off when he  decided to walk towards where I was sitting and "Okay, one last question"

But because I was too tensed up, stiff while READING my answers/plan for exams, I didn't know what else  to ask.

"Sure??!" 

"So good, ah?"

and because I was still stunned by the WAY he called me and too surprised that a LECTURER can actually find me sitting at the venue I thought nobody would be able to find.... I had the largest smile possible etched on my cute face... (LOL?)

A mixture of being stunned and happy, perhaps???

He turned back and saw me for the last time "Yes?" "Everything good?"

Gave him the THUMBS UP in response to his.

Everything was okay up till the time  when the invigilator was reading the instructions.

Felt a little dizzy but then it went off...

I guess it was because 90% of the PYQ came out and most of them were similar anyway...

until it was writing time when I attempted my first question. Dizziness came by to say hello. Drank H2O then.



a little feverish perhaps when I was doing question 2. Drank more H2O.


But the real PAIN only began when I attempted question 3, Duras (Yeah, maybe mr. lec was right. It was such a pain to write abt her) because my body ached so bad I wanted to die :( I almost wanted to give up writing, in between saying mr. lec, pls just KILL me right now because I really dunno what I'm writing anymore.

For some reason, I just kept on writing, writing and writing to distract myself from thinking that I WAS SICK :(

Then, came the point when I felt like throwing up if not in the room, on the keyboard, at least... Honestly, at that time, I crapped my way thru' just so it looked like a decent answer.

Never felt this dead before in an exam. Well, I guess I did but that was dengue fever back when I was doing UPSR and all I felt was FEVER and nothing else. The discomfort came much later.

This time, however, I thought, if God were to take me, just take me already. I don't want to live for authorship. I after all, don't live for authorship; I live for a lot of other legit reasons.


Back to the story....


It wasn't too long before I was done. But, believe me, I was DEAD.

And when miss invigilator said it was OKAY to go off, I started packing. Stood up from my chair feeling nauseous like never before. I really thought I was gonna CoLLAPSE right there and then when....










"HI, Jo Leennnn!!! How's the paper???"

Breathe, JL breathe... He's just your LECTURER.

I think he expected a better answer from me BUT because I was really DEAD, all I could manage was an OKAY-LAH while forcing myself to smile a little. Well, I didn't wanna be too happy because what IF I SAID it was EASY and my grade turned out to be a DISASTER???? After all, honestly, it was not "EASY" but it wasn't totally "die-lah-cannot-answer-I-wanna-kill-myself" kind of paper, either.

My lecturer... attempting to be very nice to me after being torturous since... FOREVER.

And when he walked off, I realised... it was TRULY the END of Authorship.

***

Next day, felt even sicker than the day before. Cancelled a scheduled discussion because I needed a BREAK from exam revision.

***

MAD paper... So glad I walked out early because body couldn't stand it anymore.

14 days later... after two rounds of diff antibiotics

Got well! Yay!

:)

But someone decided it was a good day to cook curry

Thought it wouldn't hurt just to eat the chicken without the curry

because curry has never been spicy enough for me in comparison to the Malay-style...



Boy, was I wrong???



For once, the curry was spicy.. and it had to be that one day when I just recovered -.-'



Say hello AGAIN to sore but not too sore throat.



Sigh,





my stupidity


is proven


esp if


IF IF IF I can't get thru' authorship


Goodness, Sunday night, come already! bcoz then I wouldn't have to worry abt authorship anymore... unless I flunked it........... No, YOU cannot flunk......

don't care if my lec finds this blog. TOLD him I was sick (after the paper). He can kill me if he wants to but remember I never did SKIP your class, not even once. Proof that I was really 'DEAD'.

oh yeah, I forgot he doesn't care at all. Oh well...